Jobson Jobsworth’s Spoof Joke CV and Covering Letter

Professional jobseeker, Jobson Jobsworth, sent his CV and covering letter to genuine job vacancies all around the UK. Most employers took Jobson's application in the spirit in which it was sent, however, some people were annoyed that their important work was interrupted by an idiot.
Jobson did manage to get some job offers, although most of those were newly created imaginary positions involving imaginary duties in imaginary offices in imaginary worlds. Still, a job's a job.
Feel free to contact Jobson on twitter for all employment related matters. He'll reply promptly unless he's stuck in the photocopier again.

Dear Miss Partridge-Kensington,
RE: Job Vacancy Ref: PQ429/T093-62HYK.01:WQBX-D4G8-V67/3Z.5
Thank you for not immediately deleting my application for the above vacancy in your company. Please find attached my CV for your expert perusal when you can tear yourself away from Facebook.
As you can see from my CV, I am currently one of the Government's most experienced …
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